What would I do if I knew I were dying~~

My patient passed away on the second day of my "Grief and Bereavement" course. Somehow the course felt different after her passing. She seemed to be closer to me than I imagined. I wonder how she felt just before she passed away. Maybe she felt released and maybe she was comforted. Then I began to wonder, what would I feel if I knew that I was going to die?

Dat's why it is important to live each moment to its fullest because we never know when we would pass on because for all you know, I could not return from Mount Ophir. This is not being morbid, it is the truth because anything and everything can just happen at anytime.

So, what would I do if I had time to prepare for my death?
-spend more time with my family (cook more dishes, go to the park, watch tv, chat.....)
-meet up or call my friends up more often
-eat my favourite foods with my family and friends
-start writing a daily diary
-prepare farewell messages to everyone important in my life
-take all my photos and put them altogether
-listen to my CDs one by one
-playing and singing on my guitar and piano for my family and friends
-reading books on how to cope with dying
-plan my funeral like how I would be planning for my wedding (it's equally important k, oreven more important!!)

Dat was about all I had for the session this morning. It is definitely difficult to face death and probably we will never know how it really feels until we are nearing it. Perhaps thinking about it at times reminds us that while good times come, they do not last forever. So we have to really treasure what we have, even as simple as a "Good morning" or a "Good afternoon" or a "Good night" or a "My baby".

Isn't dat how life is? So even if I won't be around tmr, I know that I have embraced life and will always be loved, cherished and remembered.

And for now, love all of you guys, good night.....

~no more cha cha~~

Today, a patient of mine passed away, after seeing her for almost a month...seeing her so frail and lethargic....seeing her when she was better sitting out of bed, ambulating.....seeing her when she asked me to ask the doctor to just let her die.....seeing her when she deteriorated on Mon....I promised her that we will dance rumba the next time we walked...we only did "cha-cha" the other day....and from this day onwards, there would be no more cha-chas.

爱情：它到底是什么？

说真的，我从来没有谈过恋爱，所以我一直想知道爱一个人的感觉到底是什么样的呢？今天在《周刊》上就有这么一篇文章。

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作者是这样写的：

在一个很忙碌的早上，大约是8点半，一个大约八十岁的老人家，想找医生帮他拆线。 他很赶；但医生正在帮人家做手术，所以他一直在等，不停的看表。当时有个护士不是太忙，看着老人家好像很急似的，自己又没什么好做。“好吧！让我来帮他拆线吧！”护士小姐叫那个伯伯先坐下，然后再把伤口上的布一层一层的拆下，一边拆一边和那个伯伯闲聊。

护士小姐好奇地问：“为什么你这么赶？”
老人家说：“是呀！因为我约了人，在九点碰面，真不好意思，麻烦了你！”
护士好奇地想:八十多岁的老人家因该不用上班，什么事情让她要赶九点准时到呢？
老人家说：“是呀。。。是呀。。。我要赶去老人疗养院，陪我的老婆吃早餐。”
护士小姐更加好奇：“原来到疗养院啊，没有什么嘛？”
老人家答：“啊！没事了，柏金森症罢了，都好一段日子了。”
护士小姐帮他拆好了线，看一看表：“哎呀！你快迟到， 怕不怕你的太太会担心你呀？”
老人说：“不会，这五年来她都不认得我了，我去不去，其实她都不知道。”
护士小姐追问：“她已经不认得你五年之久！你还每天早上准时去？”
老人笑笑，拍拍护士的手说：“她不认得我，但我认得她，那就可以了。” 跟着他块块转身走了。护士小姐看着他的背影，眼泪慢慢的落下来了，她想：这就是我需要的爱情。

真正的爱情不只是讲浪漫气氛；真正的爱情是接受，接受以前的对方，现在的对方和将来的对方。无论她以前是怎样，现在或将来是怎样。

快乐的人不一定要最好的，快乐的人认识把他所拥有的都看成是最好的。

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或许这样的爱情也是我想要的吧。我向往的爱情并不是那种一见钟情，或者轰轰烈烈的爱情。我向往的爱情也许就是那种简简单单，很单纯的默契，有一点像把一杯温温的密茶喝下去一般。不需要太甜，只要那淡淡的，留在口中的甜蜜与满足。这样我也许就快乐了吧！特别喜欢作者最后的那一句，知足常乐的道理也就是那么的简单却又不简单！

希望大家一起学会活在现在，不要一直想着别人有的好处，也要想想自己和身边的人所拥有的好处。这样一来，幸福就或许靠我们更近了！

Mount Ophir '08

Finally, the long awaited climb of the year 08, Mount Ophir!!! Big thanks to Kong Beng who organized this event!! And a picture of all who went up the mountain and conquered it!!

CP team=)

Jiawei, Me and Yiqin (and Alicia in the background) Yeah!! at checkpoint 5!!

Lao gong(Yiqin) and Lao Po-s

Team 3 (before climbing)....Kong beng, Jeremy, Ringo, Ming Fei, Cindy, Roselyn, Me, Elizabeth


At checkpoint 5...=)

Jiawei, Yiqin, Janius, Wing Kuen, Ringo, Han Teck, Vernetta, Me

Yes, and last but not least, roommates of room 210

Me, Alicia, Elizabeth and Cindy.....=p

This trip must have been one of my most harrowing experiences and it has made me realize the importance of being alive and how lovely friendship can be. I guess when I was at the steep rocks of mount ophir with just a rope in my hands, as I thought of my family and as Kong Beng helped me from behind and friends cheered me on, I realize that my life encompasses so much more than just being me. It's everyone around that makes my presence on this earth worthwhile.

I just love everyone, everyone who was so supportive who displayed fantastic teamwork amongst the dark, the tiredness and the odds.

Dedicated To:

Kong Beng: I can never thank enough for everything, big brother!....thanks for giving me the courage to continue and completing the climb....=)

Gretel and Jordan: For leading the way while coming down and for the cheeky smiles you guys have.....

Sarah: For the many lending hands you gave especially the one at the rocks!....I owe you big time for that one....=)

Ringo: Mr Judebox of the trip and "Uncle" survivor of the trip...Thanks for all the support you've given me too...=)

Cindy dajie: For your spirit and never say die attitude....and your functional nagging...=p

Christina princess/aunty: For your funny ways and gu-niang-ness...i hoped sliding helped...=p

Elizabeth: Woah!! You were just great to have continued all the way with that cramp...

Jeremy: Thanks for the glove man!

And well, it's probably enough mountain climbing for me in a while I guess....Till then, I'm really grateful for this trip as it has brought us together in so many amazing ways we would never have known....And may we carry the spirit of determination and friendship throughout the rest of our lives=)....

Yan's 21st bday!!! Yeah!!

Me sister's 21st b'day celebration!!



Me sis and our maternal side family



Me sis and our paternal side family



Me sis and cousins

and her first brave feat just after her bday...shaving bald to support efforts for the Children Cancer Foundation....
she and her bf before and after the shave...=P

To support their efforts, pls go to the website www.ccf.org.sg to pledge ur donations ya?...=)

Clock's back!!!

Clock is finally back!!...Sorry for this late update...this is us having dinner at Waruku (Central)... Strangely, we did not have a pic of us five together...aiyo~~..and of cause Clock is the star with her long hair!!! =)